Why You Can't Force Things to Work Out Before the Timing Is Right

Do you know that feeling when you want something so badly that you keep trying and trying to make it work, but nothing you do actually brings you any closer to your goal?

It almost feels like the harder you push, the more frustrated you become because, despite all your effort, nothing seems to change.

I've experienced this many times before.

There was a time when I had a strong gut instinct to pursue something. I was one hundred percent convinced that it was the path I was supposed to take.

Deep down, I knew I had to do it.

But no matter how hard I tried, nothing came from it. Eventually, I stopped pursuing it because putting so much energy into something without seeing any progress became exhausting and frustrating.

Years later, I finally understood what had happened.

The venture itself was never the wrong choice. It was always something I was meant to pursue. The timing simply wasn't right.

Sometimes our dreams need time to brew. Sometimes we need to grow, gain more experience, learn new skills, or simply become the version of ourselves who is ready for what we're asking for. I think this lesson applies to so many areas of life, whether it's a project you want to bring to life, a job opportunity you're hoping for, a relationship, or simply trying to create the life you've always dreamed of. Looking back, I can see this pattern in my life.

Before moving to Bali, I had just moved back to Germany after living in the US and the Netherlands for six years. I was determined to make life work there.

And that was exactly the problem. I was determined to make it work.

The truth is, I never really wanted to move back to Germany. I did it because my partner at the time got his dream job, and I convinced myself that if I just tried hard enough, I would eventually find happiness there. So I did everything I could.

I tried to enjoy my everyday life. I searched for jobs where I could use my skills and find fulfillment. I kept believing that if I just pushed a little harder, something would finally fall into place. But nothing did. And that wasn't a feeling I was used to. Usually, when I set my mind to something, it somehow works out. Maybe not exactly how I imagined, but something always unfolds that leads me where I'm supposed to be.

This time was different.

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't force things to happen. Eventually, I decided to stop forcing Germany to work and instead started applying for yoga jobs abroad. Just for fun, I sent an application to a hotel in Namibia and applied for three different positions in Indonesia - two in Bali and one at a dive resort on a remote tropical island.

To my surprise, every single place in Indonesia offered me a position almost immediately.

Every single one. Can you believe that? The only place I didn't hear back from was Namibia.

Life took me to Indonesia, and that chapter unfolded exactly as it was supposed to.

Then, about a year later, I went through the hardest breakup of my life.

I lost what felt like my entire foundation. And right in the middle of all of that, I suddenly received an email from the hotel in Namibia.

They seemingly reached out to me out of nowhere, asking if I was still interested in coming to teach yoga. I had almost forgotten that I had even sent that email.

Looking back, I couldn't have received that opportunity at a better time.

That job removed me from the breakup environment. It gave me space to heal, reconnect with myself, and focus on something that genuinely brought me joy.

Had they contacted me a year earlier, I probably would have gone as well. But then maybe I wouldn't have been able to experience all the other opportunities in Indonesia that I also wanted to pursue. So that job literally came at the perfect time - a year later, when I needed that trip to take me out of my environment.

Experiences like these have happened to me more than once.

There have been many moments when I desperately wanted something to happen, only to realize later that receiving it at a different time turned out to be far more meaningful than getting it when I originally asked for it.

That's why I've started believing that not everything is about trying harder. Sometimes it's about trusting that what's meant for you is already making its way toward you. Not because you stop putting in effort, but because you stop trying to force what isn't ready yet.

I truly believe that some opportunities are waiting for the right version of you to arrive.

And sometimes, the greatest lesson isn't learning how to chase harder.

It's learning how to trust the timing.